Shedding Old Skin

I have officially entered the world of the "Working Mom." I started a job as a full-time receptionist for an office building this past Friday.

After, dropping my three and a half year old off at her preschool (with no crying from either of us!), I leisurely drove to the closest Starbucks, walked in to order my Skinny Vanilla Latte, sat in my car until it was time to go answer the telephone, direct clients, and update invoices. Then, at noon sharp, I had the most wonderful lunch of pasta, sausage, and broccoli (of which my sweet husband prepared just for me). I had a whole hour to sit in an empty office, eat, and not talk. Absolutely amazing!

It is funny to me that a day that was so structured (compared to my normal "stay at home mom" day) felt like such a break. I felt a little guilty as I was just working. And, I have to admit, that while I did miss my daughter and called to check on her often throughout the day, it is true that things that are out of sight are out of mind. Toward the end of the day, though, I did become antsy to "rescue" my child from such a long day at "school." When I was finally able to pick her up, we hugged so tight. And, while we both had a good day (relatively speaking), as we hugged, we both fought to hold back tears of appreciation for the love we share.

In a perfect world, I would work about five hours a day, make excellent money, and get off work in the early afternoon. That schedule would be just the right amount of separation for my daughter and I to help us appreciate each other more without feeling completely deprived of each other. But, as we all know, the world is anything but perfect.

I suppose, I have completely put behind me, my stay at home mom experience. It is hard to believe that almost four years have passed since my girl was just entering the world. I leave this phase of life with hesitation, excitement for our new experiences, relief from the guilt of feeling like I was a financial burden to my family, and sadness because I will no longer have the privilege of spending the majority of my days with the love of my life, my sweet little girl.